so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
