I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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