Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
