Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
