So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize