We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
