I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
