Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
