I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think people are normalizing furries
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
