don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
