I have demons in me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
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