She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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