How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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