I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
MIDGETS
????
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
