You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
