I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
