I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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