Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
