I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
