I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
