I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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