I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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