im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
