remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
