You work out of a Hotel?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
