Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
