he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
