I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I supernannyed him into submission
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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