I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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