Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
honey bunches of taint.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
