She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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