you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
