I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
