it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
