you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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