The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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