anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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