shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
