YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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