we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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