The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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