Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My dick has a subreddit
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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