I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
