How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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