Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Say something about gay babies.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would fuck him just for his dog
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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