Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
