All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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