Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
