just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
