Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize