No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
