I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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