And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
