the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
