recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
