I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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