Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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