I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no, he came in my armpit
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
