I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
50% drunk capacity currently
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
