Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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