she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
