I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
